Yes that is true! Now for some of you, just reading that title will have you feeling self-centered and selfish. Hold on… Nothing could be further from the truth.
Cultivating a healthy relationship with our Ego self, our Soul and our Essence is how we will get to increase our self-knowledge and level of personal empowerment (To learn more about this trio of Ego, Soul and Essence visit https://mysoulcanheal.com/philosophy/.
Our empowerment and ability to take intentional and purposeful action begins with our level of Self-TEC aka Self-Trust, Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence, along with our willingness to listen to the quiet voice within. For today, I will focus on Self-TEC and keep the latter for another day.
Let’s be clear here, Self-TEC is very different from arrogance, selfishness, and narcissistic traits. Without our Self-TEC mostly intact, it is much harder to have the internal motivation to learn and grow, to be willing to try something new and make mistakes, and even to let go of relationships or jobs that we have outgrown.
Without the trio of self-confidence, self-trust, and self-esteem you often give your power away, usually doing so subconsciously and unbeknownst to you. It can feel like you have no control, no say in what is happening to you, and you cannot see how you can change your circumstances.
Giving your power away can look like: wanting and waiting to have another adult take care of you; relying on a colleague/ boss for your level of visibility and recognition for your contribution within a company; refusing to do all you can do for yourself; believing another person knows better what is good for you than you know for yourself (not to be confused with the work needed for our blind spots); waiting and hoping for someone else to plug up your energy leaks or fix your problems.
Now let’s go back to personal empowerment. This empowerment we often hear of can appear to be elusive and hard to grasp. However it is really not that complicated. It is kind of simple at its foundation, yet not always easy or comfortable to move towards.
Empowerment comes from how we use our life force and how we recognize, plug up and resolve our energy leaks. If we don’t deal with the places, things or people that fuel our energy leaks, we cannot be the best version of our self. Hence the reason our primary relationship needs to be with our self and begins within. Our life purpose is to understand personal power; how it operates in our life and in the grander scheme of things and how you can use it to self-actualize (in what ever way that is for your highest and best good, and hence for the good of all).
Just a side note: The word power might hold a negative connotation for you. For the longest time, the idea of having power never felt safe – emotionally or physically. I felt like I was going to be too visible and be in harm’s way. However, I came to understand and even have proof that the way to feel emotionally and physically safe, to understand others better and how life works was to be empowered through Self-TEC.
So an important question to ask yourself on your journey is : How do I cultivate and nourish this Self-TEC: trust, esteem, and confidence?
Here is where the work begins for some or continues for others. Know that it is a continuous cycle as long as you are alive. The encouraging thing is it becomes fascinating (yes, getting to know yourself better is fascinating 😉), easier, and can deliver exponential results. An essential element of the process is healing your childhood wounds, understanding the childhood scripts you were raised with, discarding the false beliefs, misconceptions, and myths you acquired through the dogma your family of origin/ tribe, your culture and /or religion imposed on you. It necessitates looking at your patterns of behaviour and how you tend to respond when you feel small, perhaps unseen, helpless, or fearful of being shamed. A good place to start is by examining your self protective behaviours and mechanisms.
Some of the steps needed to increase your Self-TEC can be done on your own, and at times you will need a guide, a facilitator, or coach as your blind spots are just that – blind to you. It will greatly speed up your growth and make it more ease filled if you can have a knowledgeable caring practitioner guide you through the steps, and help you connect the dots so you can see what is running rampant like a computer virus on your internal circuitry, affecting your life on a daily basis.
I cannot speak for others, however when I finally went to the uncomfortable and painful corners within, I was able to change my life around. I went from disconnected from myself to well grounded and connected, from exhausted and depleted to energized and motivated; from wanting to be invisible to feeling safe in putting myself out there, and from alone to having a support network.The daily physical aches and pains I was experiencing basically dissolved.
Life became a whole new game – one that actually holds more security, time for myself, more meaningful connections, fun and one where I am living my purpose.
When would Now be a good time to let go of what others want you to be and finally just be yourself, trusting that You Are Already Enough and that You Are Worthy?
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As smart, hardworking women dedicated to others and our careers, we often abandon ourselves in the process— hence feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, and stuck. Our self-confidence slips, self-trust wavers, and even our bodies send signals that something needs to shift. Studies are showing that women are more lonely, unfulfilled, and unhappy than ever before.
That’s where Lynette steps in. She guides and supports growth-oriented women gain clarity, uncover hidden barriers, experience break throughs, and take sustainable steps toward the outcome they deeply desire—whether in relationships, well-being, prosperity, or purpose. Her approach blends the analytical and intuitive, the practical and the profound, so transformation isn’t just a fleeting insight but a lasting reality.
With over 16 years of deep spiritual exploration, international accreditation in Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), and certification in Women-Centered Coaching Principles Lynette provides a grounded framework for change. Because the world needs your unique gifts now more than ever—it’s time to step into your fullest potential, rise as your most authentic self, and uplift both yourself and those around you
Learn more about her work and influences:
https://transformationstartswithin.com/acknowledgements-references/