Have you ever wondered what it truly feels like to give and receive unconditional love? What would it sound like? What would it look like if you were experiencing it?
Unconditional love is a hot topic these days. It is often talked about and promoted in various circles and leaving many searching for it. While it’s not easy to grasp or practice, it’s definitely worth the efforts.
Misconceptions about Unconditional Love
Because of cultural, religious or familial dogma, some people believe they need to put up with bad behaviours like betrayals, emotional neglect and rejections, or even physical abuse, especially from long-standing relationships. That is just not true.
My Journey with Unconditional Love
I am still figuring out this whole concept. Here is what I have learned so far:
- Acceptance: Try to see the person in front of me/you with all their qualities and flaws. Do my best to accept them as they are.
- No Control: Don’t attempt to change them. When it comes to change, any required transformation is their responsibility.
- No Conditions: Unconditional love means no strings attached. It’s not “I love you if…”
- Support: Witness – see and hear them regarding their experiences and situation, offer support whether that be through deep listening, sharing resources, encouraging them, and so on.
And here’s a crucial part I missed for years…
Balancing Love and Self-Respect
I have also learned to love myself enough to walk away if needed. If someone’s negative behaviour (I am not speaking here of mere annoyances or irritations) continue to impact me. In other words, when another repeatedly refuses the hard conversations, or to look at the problematic issue, to take the steps needed to grow and heal, then the right and responsible thing to do is to take a step back. I need to take time to discern if the relationship has run its course and decide if it is best to part ways for each of our highest good. Sometimes the loving thing to do is to let go.
“Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love.” Miguel Ruiz
Sometimes you might stay in the relationship but let the other person face the consequences of their actions, especially in parent-adult child relationships. This is fine as long as you’re safe and the relationship isn’t draining your energy.
Personal Story
Years ago, I was in a relationship where my partner refused to deal with his past hurts, which affected our relationship. Eventually, I chose to let go for my mental health, even though it meant moving forward alone. Not everyone is ready to face their inner struggles, and that’s okay. It is their right to choose.
“You don’t need to change the world; you need to change yourself.” – Miguel Ruiz
The Hard Truth
It took me a long time to realize that we are each responsible for our own life experiences. It’s not our job to fix others, and it’s not their responsibility to fix us. You can’t want something good for someone more than they want it for themselves. Your will alone won’t change them, and trying to control this is exhausting and doesn’t work. it leads to control issues.
You’ve probably seen this. Maybe you’ve encouraged someone to make healthier choices or see a doctor. If they choose not to, that’s their decision.
Accepting reality can be tough, and resisting it only causes unnecessary suffering. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is step aside and let others walk their own path.
Your turn: Take a moment to reflect on your experiences with unconditional love. How do you balance loving others with respecting yourself?
Are you struggling with the decision to stay or go? The answers are within you, and I’m here to help you uncover them. Let’s connect and find the clarity you need together.
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Lynette guides and supports smart hardworking women who, despite their efforts, feel trapped and unfulfilled, always striving but never quite achieving their desired changes. Her approach blends both analytical/logical (left brain) and creative/intuitive (right brain) perspectives and processes, allowing for tangible concrete results.
Drawing from over 16 years of dedicated spiritual exploration; learning from diverse programs, and achieving international accreditation in Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) – Lynette offers a practical framework for empowerment. Visit https://transformationstartswithin.com/acknowledgements-references/ to learn more within Acknowledgements and References.