Ever felt hurt by something someone said or did, only to realize it wasn’t really about you? The secret is – Stop taking things personally.
We’ve all been there—taking things personally can cause a lot of unnecessary suffering. Today, I was reminded of this lesson when I witnessed a kind compassionate older lady, who spent her life caring for others, struggling with the reactions of a younger woman. As an outside observer, it was much easier to be neutral. I could see that the older woman felt hurt – after all from her vantage point – over the years, she had done so much to help the younger woman. She simply could not believe that now she was being ignored – that the connection was broken.
Although pointing out to her that the younger woman was likely stuck in her own fears right now, trying to navigate her personal situation and pain, and that in reality it had nothing to do with anybody else – needless to say, I could see my words were not landing and were not bringing any relief.
When we take things personally, we’re reacting to what others say or do based on our own stories and expectations. Miguel Ruiz, in The Four Agreements, https://www.miguelruiz.com/ explains that everyone has their own story in their head about how things are and should be. So, when someone reacts to us, it’s really about a reaction to their own story, not to ours.
It’s not easy to learn not to take things personally, but practicing this can save us a lot of worry, angst and energy. We can use that energy more productively and find peace of mind.
So when would now be a good time to stop taking things personally?
Based on a synthesis of concepts derived from The Four Agreements and general principles of emotional resilience and self-help here a few things you might want to try next time something feels extremely personal:
– Question whether your reaction is truly based on the situation or if it’s influenced by your own pre-existing beliefs and fears.
– Sometimes misunderstandings arise from miscommunication or lack of communication. Clarify intentions and avoid jumping to conclusions about others’ motives.- Engage in activities that reinforce your well-being and self-acceptance, making it easier to maintain your emotional balance.
I have learned that the most important relationship I need to cultivate is the relationship I have with myself because our emotional responses and well-being are closely tied to how we perceive and nurture ourselves. Learn more at: https://transformationstartswithin.com/blog-posts/why-your-primary-relationship-needs-to-be-with-yourself/
If you are wanting to gain more clarity on how to put this into practice, I’m here to help you uncover the wisdom that lies within you. Let’s connect
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Lynette guides and supports smart hardworking women who, despite their efforts, feel trapped and unfulfilled, always striving but never quite achieving their desired changes. Her approach blends both analytical/logical (left brain) and creative/intuitive (right brain) perspectives and processes, allowing for tangible concrete results.
Drawing from over 16 years of dedicated spiritual exploration; learning from diverse programs, and achieving international accreditation in Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) – Lynette offers a practical framework for empowerment. Visit https://transformationstartswithin.com/acknowledgements-references/ to learn more within Acknowledgements and References.